My heart ripped today. Just a little more jagged than it normally feels – a permanent tear. The kind of break that requires significant change to recover from, if recovery’s even a desired option. I can’t say why exactly except to say that every once in awhile an emotion comes through your body that destroys everything you thought you knew and alters you – dare say, forever.
I’ve been picked up, shaken and set back down to start over again. But I can’t keep thoughts straight with the whirlwind of regret rambling through me. My mind’s a blender pulsating through chunks of ice harder than steel to crush. My life swirling around inside, crashing into obstacles I cling to for definition.
Passing days with punctures so immense I’m less than whole. Anger rises at the vice that stole the other half – the missing half that leaves feeling of pointlessness, of restlessness rattling my senses. He’s gone and always will be.
I hate him for leaving me. I hate me for letting him. Regret will be the death of me before any other emotion has the chance to tear me apart. Of that, I'm certain.
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